Saturday, May 19, 2012

not like in the Disney movies

I was home alone this weekend. Both of my roommates decided to go do awesome things, and leave me home alone. Which honestly wasn't THAT bad because then I had the entire house to myself and then I had the entire house to me and Brendan, which makes it that much better.

So I was making myself dinner, waiting for Brendan to come over. I had Pandora rocking Disney music (my childlike moments) and I was singing and dancing around the kitchen. I went into the basement because I needed some olive oil to make more of my fantastic salad dressing and found the cat sitting on the stairs. I know he likes to sneak downstairs sometimes into Emilia's room and pretend like he wasn't actually sneaking around. Even though we usually hear him opening her gate like door and then running upstairs with an innocent "what? I was here the whole time". Then I noticed that he was staring at something and I checked out the window and saw a little baby bird, flying into the window and trying to escape. It was the basement window, which is enclosed in the ground by some metal siding. The baby bird was not able to fly anywhere but into the screen and the sides of the metal. And then, I made a decision.. I am going to save this baby bird.

I ran upstairs and donned my gardening gloves and rain boots and headed outside. At first I thought I'd grab a shovel from the shed and scoop him out so I grabbed the keys to the shed. But then I thought a shovel would be too large so I took the dust pan with me instead. I put the keys down on the garden wall and made an attempt to help the bird escape on his own. I placed a large branch into the ground/window and watched the bird fail to fly and crash now not only into the screen and siding, but now also into the branch. I stepped one foot into the hole and as he spazzed (weak attempt at flying) out I guided him out of the window and into freedom.

Of course the baby bird is thinking "WHAT IS THIS GIANT DOING TO ME!" And starts chirping and spazzing out more.. and here comes mama and papa birds, dive bombing and screeching at me. I tried to make sure the baby bird was somewhere safe away from the window and not somewhere I could step on him, but the stupid birds kept attacking me so I ran for it! I ran from the side of the yard and over the wall into the street (leaving the shed keys behind, at this point I considered them lost forever). I had numerous neighbors witness my screaming and running from the birds (good thing it wasn't Wednesday) but at least one was nice enough to make sure I was okay.

I couldn't get back into the house for a while because at this point all the damn birds lined up on the power lines connected to the house, watching me. I ran for it, holding the dust pan over my head (didn't want another pooping incident thankyouverylittle seeing as how my last incident was merely a week before). I made it inside and slammed the screen door behind me. My very first thought, other than verifying my poop free state, was that Disney movies are BS because these birds should've been thankful and happily singing and flying around me singing my praises. But NO, they were not.

Luckily Brendan arrived shortly after and rescued the abandoned shed keys. He also comforted me, since rescuing birds is nothing like Disney led me to believe. I was a little frazzled and afraid to leave the house. All the birds were still outside waiting. He found the baby bird in the backyard, hanging out, like a trap. "Oh I'm so cute and tiny and can't fly, please help me!" Trap. Pretty sure I won't ever be helping a baby bird again. 

1 comment:

BBBBurns said...

I imagine this the entire time